• The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background is that deep down inside, we ALL believe we are above average drivers.
  • Have you ever noticed that those who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them?
  • When God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver his message to humanity, you can be pretty sure he won’t be using a cable TV minister with bad hair to deliver it.
  • If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
  • Next to gravity, the most powerful force in the universe is rumor.
  • There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday—that time is age 10!
  • A person, who is nice to you but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.
  • If someone committed the perfect crime, how would we ever know about it?
  • I once asked a friend what’s worse, ignorance or apathy—he replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
  • I think the Wizard of Oz is the scariest kids’ movie of all time—those flying monkeys were terrifying!
  • How do you know Wikipedia is really accurate?
  • Who were the Corinthians, why was St. Paul always writing to them; and more importantly, did they ever write back?
  • Is it better to make a promise to implement a worthy ideal and break it, or not make the promise in the first place?
  • Whenever anyone says something will take “about 20 minutes” I know I’m being sandbagged because translated, “about 20 minutes” means at least a half hour or more.
  • Rumor has it if Joe Biden is elected in November one of his first acts will be to replace “In God We Trust” with “I’m Offended” as the new motto of the United States.

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