When I was still teaching skiing in Vail I would play a little game with the guests called “two truths and lie.”  Each guest tries to fool the others by telling three things about themselves—but only two are true.  Usually it’s a great icebreaker, it gets the guests involved with one another other and it’s just fun.

Now, I no longer teach (don’t even ski any more actually) so I thought I would again dig into my old Vail Daily files to find some outlandish stories and have some fun with the readers as I used to do with my students.

So here goes, remember, two of the following are true…

 “On January 15, 1919 the workers and resident of Boston’s North End were enjoying the noontime sun of an unseasonably warm day when suddenly without warning a huge cast iron tank of the Purity Distilling Company burst open and a great wave of black molasses two stories high poured out onto Commercial Street and oozed out into the adjacent waterfront area.

Neither pedestrians nor horse-drawn carriages could outrun it.  More than two million gallons of molasses destined for rum engulfed scores of people.  The records are unclear as to the casualties, but at least 150 people were injured in some form or another.  Several nearby buildings crumbled from the force of the wave, and an elevated train track collapsed.  Many of the horses in the area not completely swallowed up in the goo were trapped in the mess, and were destroyed by the police.

Sightseers and gawkers who came by to survey the scene couldn’t help but walk in the molasses and ended up spreading the sticky substance throughout the city.  Boston smelled of molasses for a week and the harbor ran brown all summer.”

 “In September of 1988 a Charlotte North Carolina man purchased a case of rare and very expensive cigars, then insured them with a floater policy with his local insurance agent against…of all things…fire! Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated he had lost the cigars to a “series of small fires.”  The insurance company denied the claim citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.  The man, not accepting the insurance company’s denial decided to sue the insurance company and won!

In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a valid policy from the insurer which warranted the cigars were insurable and guaranteed it would insure them against fire, without defining what it considered an “unacceptable fire” it was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal, the insurance company paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in “the fire.”  However, after the man cashed his check, the insurance company had the Charlotte police arrest him on 24 counts of arson!  With his own testimony from his insurance claim used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 concurrent one-year terms.”

If a ninety-year old man would suddenly find himself in complete control of a harem of seven beautiful maidens what results could be expected? When a Mexican circus went bankrupt in 1971 the owners gave an elderly male lion named Frasier to a Southern California Wildlife Preserve called Lion Country Safari.

Frasier, the scrawny, scruffy lion was clearly past his prime.  He was bleary eyed, suffered from arthritis and rheumatism and had trouble walking.  He was in his early twenties, while most male lions seldom make it past the age of fifteen.  After being nursed back to health he was introduced to the pride consisting of seven young females.  Previous to this, the hard-to-please females had spurned five other young males and had even mauled one of them.

The morning after Frasier was turned loose the young females were found basking placidly in the sun, and a tired but very happy Frasier was lying on his back paws in the air.  In the days that followed, whenever this “lady-killer” was hungry the adoring young females fetched his food.  (Frasier was toothless and had to be fed ground meat.)  When he decided to take a walk, two lionesses would take their place on each side of his over-aged bones to help him.

Frasier sired 22 cubs in 16 months before succumbing to old age in his sleep in July of 1972.  He was inserted into the pride as a joke, but the old cat took his challenges seriously—and once again proves that the art of keeping females happy knows neither time nor season.”

As I indicated, two of the above stories are true…can you guess which two

Discover more from L.S. "Butch" Mazzuca

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading